Web Lettuce


Little surprise that one of the summer releases sporting the largest collection of promotional marketing swag would be Spideran 3, what with the American public being more willing to accept a man traversing skyscrapers with webbing shot from his wrists than 13 guys in suits stealing cash, or a teenager who plays detective. At the same time, when you have a key character who is comprised of sand you are bound to see some daft choices in the licensing division.

The crowd at 10zenmonkeys came up with a list of 10 products tied in to the threequel that are rather moronic in their estimation. While some are pedestrian they have a few gems, including a prosthetic limb manufacturer which has retrofitted a children's fishing rod onto an arm extension. It can entertain the wounded Spidey fan, empower a youngster, and put dinner on the table.

The item from the film that baffled us the most that didn't make the 10zen list was the Spiderman Bug Vacuum, with the accompanying Backyard Bug Habitat. Seemingly this was designed for the junior entomologist who wants to channel his internal super-hero as he sucks bugs in the garden. (Ed. Note: It is in this section that we elected to spare the reader from having to endure a lengthy passage that employed the phrases Dyson the daisies, Oreck the orchids, and Hoover the heliconia. These have been edited out for your protection.)

We have to wonder how a parent may feel, watching their young-un sporting around the neighborhood with a web encrusted vacuum cleaner, sucking up various samples of flying scourge and bringing the infestation into the home. Further perplexing us is how marketers considered a cement and steel skyline rendered in deeply dyed plastermers to be the natural habitat of any form of insect.